Yes, I love Lost. Me, and a few trillion people in the world (although, just asking around, it seems as though there are quite a lot of Malaysians who don't think that highly about the show). The best thing? The stories of each person's lives. These are people whose lives are a total mess, with secrets and failures defining who they are. Then, they plane-crash, and out of their suffering, comes a chance to start afresh. A chance to re-discover who they really are. A chance to be the people they couldn't before, the people they can be.

2004 was my plane crash. It was the year I came back from Melbourne, and jumped into the working world. And I collapsed. I didn't understand why all this church stuff I had based my whole life upon didn't seem to work outside the pristine four walls. So I became cynical, turned my back on my parents, put my finger to God, broke off my relationship. I crashed.

Then, 2005 came. And in thinking back about last year, I realised why I loved Lost so much: it parallels my own journey. Last year was my time to find out all over again who I really am, and start the long journey to putting my life together again. It was extremely lonely at times, but something so necessarily, like a cavern God put in my heart so I would learn how to lean on the right things to fill it - community, and communion. I was on this island, and I had better start getting used to life there.

So last year became exciting. I integrated with my colleagues at Star, quit to follow my heart and explore my industry, saw my best friend walk down the aisle, tried joining more things in church.

Big question is, what's 2006 like? And just like that blasted television show, I sense it may be a time to start taking responsibility. I have to admit, in this area, I have failed miserably so far. I still treat my mom coldly, with whom I had a long chat just now where we admitted correcting the mistakes of our indifferent past would take a long time. I can't seem to connect my barely-beating heart with a Source, and as such, find fellowship of the believers bogged down by a return of skepticism and plain apathy. And as Y incessantly reminds me, I'm turning 26 soon, and am still single. Not a worry - I could always get me a geisha.

But with my fingers grasping to hope, here's praying 2006 will be a Year of Responsibility. A year which will test my ability to respond.

jon.

PS. Still on that TV show, is it just me, or does Jack (Matthew Fox) look a lot like Jose Antonio Reyes, that Arsenal forward? Thought about it while watching Arsenal thrash Middlesbrough 7-0. You be the judge: