My Aunt, whom i believe to be more than 50 years old is currently with her boyfriend, i would say 15 years older is driving down to Las Vegas from California to get married. He proposed last night.

How romantic.

 Y.

It's been months since I last went rock-climbing - THINK, mamak and plain ol' laziness can do that. So when G asked me if I wanted to go last Saturday, I thought no harm done.

And it was awesome! To feel the fingers strain as they went from crevice to handhold, to reach with all your might to conquer the next obstacle, the rush of satisfaction at finishing a rock-face. If only for one day, it was Life.

One particular climb was a bitch. It was going smoothly right to the last handhold, which was positioned just out of reach from my hand. Meaning, I would need to reaach. First time I tried, I fell. Second time, I fell again. Third time, I fell yet again. By the 10th time, it was getting absolutely frustrating, my hands were killing me, and other climbers by then were looking at me try my comical and darn best. It was the perfect time to quit.

Only, I didn't. Or I didn't want to. I knew I couldn't give excuses anymore. After probably about 25 minutes trying and trying at the top, I thought of maybe using my legs on a hold near my kneecap to push me up. Leg, push, reach, and hold. I had done it! I rappled down, to the applause of the 2-3 climbers who were watching (and probably were exasperated at my inability).

Afterwards, I thought about why didn't I just throw in the towel, move on to another challenge, live to fight another day. But it was more than just a handhold I couldn't reach. It was my life, symbolised by stone and rope and harnesses. Too often, I find myself unwilling to push the envelope, to see how far I can actually go. There is no faith, no confidence to know if I can reach beyond my wildest dreams, to reach for the handhold that seems out of my grasp. And for one day, I actually touched it. So maybe, that job that seems too hard, or that girl that seems too special, or the God that seems too absent, might all one day be within my hand, just by reaching in faith and belief.

Though I paid the price.



Anyways, all this is training for a possible run at The Amazing Race. Yeah, me and G have decided to enter for the heck of it. We have done our video - where we're singing 'Angels Brought Me Here' in the car - and we spent 3 freaking hours filling in their six-page application form. Which was actually pretty fun, comparing answers and laughing over it. Example, from G's form:

What do you do to blow off steam?

Masturbate.

We took that out after thinking more about it.

j

Watched something a lil light-hearted today. (as compared to yesterday) There were some scenes that left me laughing till my sides spilt. And there were a couple of endearing moments, like when he started reciting the "Ten Rules". Or when she started shouting to him from one mountaintop to the other. During those times, i cried. Precious.

I still don't really get this love business. Could it be as shallow and simple as this? Or so incredibly complex where it's like a dance for which every movement, every gaze and every connection between the partners, including their environment and setting, comes together to create this magical waltz that is so breathtaking?

As Mike Mason puts it, "Marriage, in other words, turns out to be the best of two worlds, satisfying all the needs relating to separateness and solitude, together with those of companionship. Think what it is like, for example, to be alone with one's beloved, to be silent and still and enthralled, with no other purpose than that of being together, being alone with love. It is, oddly enough, an experience of being neither alone nor not-alone, but rather about midway between the two, and somehow involving the very best of both experiences. It means that one can totally relax, but with a relaxation which nevertheless has an edge to it, for there is always the awareness that one is being watched. And yet, being watched by one who loves is not like being watched by anyone else on earth! No, to be loved as one is being watched is like one thing only: it is like the watchfulness of the Lord God Himself, the sense that the believer has of living out his life in the invisible presence of the living God, and of being so loved that it is as if an aura or halo had already been conferred on him, a spiritual electricity which surrounds and fills all of his words and actions, for suddenly all that he is and does is not only accepted and respected, but marveled at. More than just being appreciated, he is treated as being awesome, beautiful. He is cherished."

I believe perhaps at some point of the dance, both partners would have to pick each other up from a fall and learn to watch from afar as each tries to master their own moves. That they will come together again to give it another go would depend whether or not the Host invites them to another banquet.

"Fate is building a bridge of chance for the one you love."

                                                                        -My Sassy Girl

 

G

I feel like going for a marathon.

No, not the 42k one. I will be attempting to watch four Oscar-nominated movies in a day. Possibly by myself. It's going to be heavily engaging and bring out chock full of emotions. Dare I proceed with this endeavour?

I've worked out the times and amazingly, I could do it all in one cinema! And with breaks in between as well. Very essential.

13 March 2006

10.20 AM - Walk the Line

2.40 PM - Munich

5.05 PM - Capote

7.45 PM - Brokeback Mountain

Crash is not showing anymore! Sob sob. But I got a worthy replacement in Munich. Now I am STILL thinking whether I should do it. If anyone wants to join me, it will be at those times at Cathay Orchard Cineplex. Beep me at +60123779710. Otherwise I'll just rely on my coke and popcorn to accompany me. I hope I'll remain sane until the end of it.

 

G