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Friday, November 18, 2005
My son's name is Murni's Chew
AUSSIE
RULES!!!
Now that I've got it out of my system...
It's a long time since I laughed 'til my sides ached, so kudos to this site. It's a collection of postings across baby bulletin sites about suggestions on really weird baby names, and some crackers have brilliantly taken it and given their hilarious comments. Example:
Q: My boyfriend and i love the name Jayln (Jay-Lynn) but we don't know how to spell it. There are a few ways we like but we don't know which we like more:
JaeLynne (or JayLinne)
Jalyn
Jayln
Jaylyn
Jalynne
A: How 'bout Ghei-llenn? Juay-limn? Q-bert?
Q: How about Adrienne Claiere? Or Fleur Jade?
A: Isn't Fleur Jade that dim sum place down the street?
Q: I also heard the name Toka for a girl,What do you think of that name?
A: Hey, Toka! Wanna go for a smoke-a? How about some cocoa? She really likes mocha! Let's buy an artichoka! She lives la vida loca!
And my favourite:
Q: I love the Lord, am a LDS woman, and would like to name my baby baby Jesus.
A: Wait, she wants to call him "Baby Jesus"? How will that work after he's 33?
Q: (con't) My husband says this is ridiculous because we are not latino and he does not even go to church anymore. I looked and it is a popular name in the US so it must be that others like me are out there spreading His love. His full name would be "Jesus Joseph Dewey". Can any one tell me if when you are at the hospital can you refuse to let your husband have a say in what the birth certificate says? I 18 years old and am a first time mom.
A: Issue 1: Jesus! (Praise the Lord!) Joseph! (Hallelujah!) Dewey. (.....um.....He's a duck, right?)
Issue 2: Have you ever heard anything so romantic, and yet so filled with Our Heavenly Father's purest love alighting from heaven to his children upon the earth as an 18 year old Mormon girl wanting to have her husband barred from the hospital where she's just given birth so she can name their child Jesus. Joseph. Dewey. Amen.
Y, just don't name your child Mango Lo Ngian.
Me and Wan Yen also attended our first cells since ours got disbanded (thanks to a serious lack of attendance, no thanks to the always-absent me and Wan Yen). So that means we are officially cell nomads. Honestly, I was looking forward to using my Wednesdays to a) catch up on movies at Tanjong Golden Village, b) plan hot dates and hope they don't cancel at the last minute, as they are prone to do, or c) watch beautiful TV series like nip/tuck on the tube.
But Wan Yen thinks we need to be connected to the church. Whatever. As long as there is free food.
I didn't regret going on Wednesday though, if only it reminded me what I just cannot come to grips with during cell: how many people give such ideal answers for really tough questions. Case in point - everyone is discussing the verse "love covers a multitude of sins". So everyone starts to say how it means overlooking your partner's little faults, such as refusing to lift the toilet seat during pee-ing, or not asking for directions, or refusing to put the toothpaste cover back on.
Wanyen: But the Bible says love covers a multitude of sins. Aren't what you guys describing just short-comings? What about things like affairs?
(silent pause) Cell member: Uh, just forgive la. That's what it means...
(one or two passing commments) Cell facilitator: OK, let's move on to the next question...
It grates me when the Bible is treated like some school textbook, and life like a list of comprehension questions. "I can't answer Question 46 on my Life Journey! Oh, don't worry, just turn to (insert book name, chapter, verse) and your answer is right there". Really? Gee, why do I keep thinking life is so tough anyways, when I can ingest my Bible like a Panadol for all life's little headaches? Is it so hard to admit as a Christian that life is truly a beautiful mess to unravel, and that on the surface, the Bible actually brings up more questions than concrete answers?
Given all that, I'm not putting them down. It's just this is the trend I see in almost every cell I've gone too (All, in my biased opinion, except my old one...which is defunct now). So being the cell nomads we are, we have secretly decided to visit different cells, just to observe. Hopefully, all the bits of cynicism and pride in me will melt at the face of a group of honest people gathering to learn what it means to follow Christ. Hopefully. *Fingers crossed*.
AUSSIE RULES!!
j
Posted at 03:34 pm by jyg2
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Monday, November 14, 2005
How do you revive a dying blog?
Answer: By, uh, blogging.
First up, my Nanowrimo novel is absolutely waaay behind the 50,000-word deadline - it stands slightly above 10,000 words. If you want to know, it's about a kampung boy who loves whistling and joins a circus called the "Malaysian Motley Maggots of Mischief". Yes, it's all very random. By the way, soph currently has the fourth-highest word count among Malaysian Nanowrimo-ers. Atta girl!
Speaking of writing, I thought this was one of the funniest eBay auction descriptions I've read, thanks to an interviewee who referred me to it. And no offense if you own leather pants.
Since Bali, life has taken a turn for the more...mundane. I actually now have to get down to the business of applying for freelance jobs. So my days are spent tweaking my resume, taking nice self-portraits with my new Olympus digital camera and watching One Tree Hill.
Speaking of One Tree Hill, just out of curiosity, how many guys do you know profess to being a fan of the show? I'm thinking of doing an article for THINK on how us macho, tough men are becoming fans of supposedly-soppy, mushy, "chick-flick"-kinda shows like OTH, The O.C, Desperate Housewives. Then again, most guys probably watch these shows to see Eva Longoria parade in her denim hot-pants.
Speaking of THINK, I've got an article out. Very profound subject.
But still on OTH, just finished the second season, and I loved it (not just to see Sophia Bush parade in her..anything, really). It's got drama, and above all, it's got such soul. And incredible quotes. Gems like: "Once you lose yourself completely, you have two choices. Find the person you used to be, or lose that person completely." Sniff, story of my life this year.
Just came back from AYA dinner. Had the privilege of singing a fantastic song written by my brother for our mentors, Kenneth and Sandra. Too bad I don't know how to upload it for all of you to listen.
Went to see "Girl from Ipoh" with Keith, his date, his date's sister and his date's sister's date. And my friend Ling. Had such a blast with her, especially while we were trying to negotiate our way to the KL Performing Arts Centre. She challenged me to say "Sick Sheikh six sheep's sick" really fast. I'll stick to "he sells sea shells on the sea shore."
My new favourite past-time? Sitting in Starbucks looking for obscure-but-hilarious websites. My demented self especially liked this, while my paternal self loved this (and might use it when I have a teenage daughter of my own to bully).
j.
Posted at 12:47 am by jyg2
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Saturday, November 05, 2005
Posted at 08:46 pm by jyg2
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Sunday, October 30, 2005
Little boy goes to Daddy, who's drinking his coffee before heading off to work. He gives a weird look to Daddy, the kind which makes Daddy sit up and notice.
Daddy: What's up?
Little Boy: Daddy, what does 'slap in the face' mean? I heard someone use it yesterday.
Daddy: Well, 'slap in the face' is like a surprise insult, when some great news suddenly turns not so great because of some unforeseen action.
Little Boy (pauses for a while): Would the time when Astro took you off indefinitely after hiring you as a part-time co-host be a 'slap in the face'?
Daddy (smiles): Exactly.
Well, I guess after having life pretty good recently, it was time I bumped back down to Earth where I belonged. I was surfing the net yesterday doing research for my Astro slot this Sunday when my email alert chimed. It was from Astro. It read:
"Dear Jonathan,
I had a talk with my superior regarding the show that you appeared...we believe we need to make sure you are properly groomed, and improve your appearance. We have decided that this week we'll give you a rest. The Channel is very particular about appearance and they asked me to convey a message to you to keep/grow your hair.
I hope you wont get any wrong idea about this,its just Channel will always evaluate every episode and make comments and suggestions. I hope you understand.
I will sent you the November schedule soon.
Take care man,
Mr So-and-so, Producer."
Woah. The Channel has spoken.
I was slightly taken aback. I am not one to care much for how I look, admittedly, but to take me off the air indefinitely just for my crew-cut hairstyle, my signature since 1999? That was a surprise.
Now, I'm not that attached to my hair to start a revolt against The Channel, to picket in front of Astro's headquarters for short-haired men everywhere. Of course I'll comply. I'll grow my hair (apparently, they want some Mohawk gelled-looking hairstyle. Anything, as long as it doesn't make me look like a wannabe '60s Cina punk-rocker). And I'll patiently wait 'til they put me back on. No big deal.
But it made me think about alot of 'what if's. As in, what if the next thing they ask me to do is to put gold caps around my teeth? Take steroids for bigger muscles? Liposuction? Or more importantly, what if they tell me not to wear that ugly-looking cross around my neck anymore? Use 'fuck' more? Go get a hot model chick to parade around in future Astro events (hmmmm...)?
It's no wonder people have said television is the best market to sell your soul. In a world that judges us based on everything but the most important things, it seems easy to give so much away for the sake of a little more fame and a little more glory. I tip my hat to people like Bernard and Tabby, who refuse to let success in the entertainment industry cloud their belief that we are defined by more than how we look or who we please.
That's my rant for today. I actually see the funny side of it (I've been told time and again to be more look-conscious).
Goodbye crew cut, hello Mohawk.
j
Posted at 02:30 am by jyg2
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"Courage is fear that has said its prayers."
-- Karl Barth --
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