JYG

Monday, November 21, 2005

Four Dares And A Pet

Ahhh yes. I'm back. And a year older. Turning 25 is no fun at all considering the emergence of the so-called "quarter-life crisis" phenomenon. But spending it with my gal, friends and an....well.... animal provides immediate relief to say the least. It's only in the company of fellowshipping pilgrims that the ponderings over my life so far makes any sense. Without them, the moment called the Present speedily reduces into a vacuum. Devoid of meaning and richness.

Well here are those moments. Now being written on the scrapbook of my mind titled "The Past" which spurs my heart to carry Hope on the runaway train into the future. Picture stories.

First stop. Energy Spa.

The ecstacy after a hour's worth of relaxing (and painful!) aromatic oil massage. Thanks baby.

Chaiyen and I went to 1-Utama and were pleasantly surprised to find British India having a sale. And of course, most people would know that you only buy stuff from there when that happens. She got me a set of outfits for my yoga classes. Think soft cotton material. I can practically sleep in those while doing my "happy baby" pose.

Lunch and church service followed. The next thing I was about to embark would score high on the sick and perverse scale. Not to mention creative. Who else other than the demented minds of my fellow miscreant J and Y could think of such lewd acts? Four dares ala One Tree Hill to be completed before I can proceed to my dinner venue with my so-called buddies. Poor me. And off I went flanked by both chaiyen and chris. (jon's bro) I couldn't have done it without them, quite literally cos chaiyen was involved in the dares and chris had to provide media assistance.

Here we go.

Dare No. 1: Find a shop that sells lingerie. Take a photo with a salesgirl wearing one.

I went to Xixili first and asked very nicely,"Excuse me. This is gonna sound weird but it's my birthday and my friends dared me to take a photo of me wearing this bra standing next to you." Her face told it all. She immediately signalled for a 40ish looking manager who appeared very puzzled indeed. I raised my petition again with fear and trembling. She didn't look like one who would approve of such provocations. I was right. She frowned and said,"I'm sorry. We can't. It's... it's not right." Yes, I'm a sick boi.

We immediately proceeded to the nearest shop called La Senza. I was feeling demoralised already but Chris impelled me to ask for the biggest bra. The salesgirl rather professionally went on to find one, which was 34D. Not available so she found the next biggest one. With hesitation I asked her the same question as described before. And ONCE AGAIN, she had to enquire her boss. Her boss paused for a moment and agreed. Yay! Jubilation. I felt saved. We took it in a flash and she even wished me "Happy Birthday!"

Coolness.

Dare No.2 : Find a furniture store and take a shot of yourself having an orgasm on their bed.

This was the easiest. I must admit. Not the pose but finding the props.

Dare No. 3: Find a photo booth and take a photo of you and chaiyen topless. (the actual shot will not be displayed for obvious reasons)

Idiot yuchun. He says it can be done. Anyway we did it (rather creatively) and got ripped off 8 bucks to produce some soft pornography.

AND THE LAST DARE WAS......

Dare No. 4: Go topless to TGIF. (chaiyen excluded) Note: That involves passing a cinema, three escalators and a LOT of restaurants.

My GOD.

Those two didn't want to be associated with me. It was a lonely walk. Heads turning. Boyfriends covering girlfriends' eyes. Whistling and cat calls. TGIF waiters and waitresses in shocked and rushing in to find out what's the commotion about. "A topless man just walked in!"

But I triumphed in the end. And received an ovation.

My reward was...

Yum.

Double Yum.

and of course...

together with....

HYPER JACK! The rodent that never stops moving. I mean, for real. From the time they bought him for me. (He was named after Jack Bauer, who can't stop moving in the major drama series called 24)

The day ended with in jon's place where we celebrated a keane-less Manutd win over charlton.

Life is bliss.

Thanks guys.

G

Posted at 06:51 pm by jyg2
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Friday, November 18, 2005

My son's name is Murni's Chew

AUSSIE
RULES!!!

Now that I've got it out of my system...

It's a long time since I laughed 'til my sides ached, so kudos to this site. It's a collection of postings across baby bulletin sites about suggestions on really weird baby names, and some crackers have brilliantly taken it and given their hilarious comments. Example:

Q: My boyfriend and i love the name Jayln (Jay-Lynn) but we don't know how to spell it. There are a few ways we like but we don't know which we like more:
JaeLynne (or JayLinne)
Jalyn
Jayln
Jaylyn
Jalynne
A: How 'bout Ghei-llenn? Juay-limn? Q-bert?

Q: How about Adrienne Claiere? Or Fleur Jade?
A: Isn't Fleur Jade that dim sum place down the street?

Q:  I also heard the name Toka for a girl,What do you think of that name?
A: Hey, Toka! Wanna go for a smoke-a? How about some cocoa? She really likes mocha! Let's buy an artichoka! She lives la vida loca!

And my favourite:

Q: I love the Lord, am a LDS woman, and would like to name my baby baby Jesus.
A: Wait, she wants to call him "Baby Jesus"? How will that work after he's 33?
Q: (con't) My husband says this is ridiculous because we are not latino and he does not even go to church anymore. I looked and it is a popular name in the US so it must be that others like me are out there spreading His love. His full name would be "Jesus Joseph Dewey". Can any one tell me if when you are at the hospital can you refuse to let your husband have a say in what the birth certificate says? I 18 years old and am a first time mom.
A: Issue 1: Jesus! (Praise the Lord!) Joseph! (Hallelujah!) Dewey. (.....um.....He's a duck, right?)
Issue 2: Have you ever heard anything so romantic, and yet so filled with Our Heavenly Father's purest love alighting from heaven to his children upon the earth as an 18 year old Mormon girl wanting to have her husband barred from the hospital where she's just given birth so she can name their child Jesus. Joseph. Dewey. Amen.

Y, just don't name your child Mango Lo Ngian.

Me and Wan Yen also attended our first cells since ours got disbanded (thanks to a serious lack of attendance, no thanks to the always-absent me and Wan Yen). So that means we are officially cell nomads.  Honestly, I was looking forward to using my Wednesdays to a) catch up on movies at Tanjong Golden Village, b) plan hot dates and hope they don't cancel at the last minute, as they are prone to do, or c) watch beautiful TV series like nip/tuck on the tube.

But Wan Yen thinks we need to be connected to the church. Whatever.  As long as there is free food.

I didn't regret going on Wednesday though, if only it reminded me what I just cannot come to grips with during cell: how many people give such ideal answers for really tough questions. Case in point - everyone is discussing the verse "love covers a multitude of sins". So everyone starts to say how it means overlooking your partner's little faults, such as refusing to lift the toilet seat during pee-ing, or not asking for directions, or refusing to put the toothpaste cover back on.

Wanyen: But the Bible says love covers a multitude of sins. Aren't what you guys describing just short-comings? What about things like affairs?
(silent pause) Cell member: Uh, just forgive la. That's what it means...
(one or two passing commments) Cell facilitator: OK, let's move on to the next question...

It grates me when the Bible is treated like some school textbook, and life like a list of comprehension questions. "I can't answer Question 46 on my Life Journey! Oh, don't worry, just turn to (insert book name, chapter, verse) and your answer is right there". Really? Gee, why do I keep thinking life is so tough anyways, when I can ingest my Bible like a Panadol for all life's little headaches? Is it so hard to admit as a Christian that life is truly a beautiful mess to unravel, and that on the surface, the Bible actually brings up more questions than concrete answers?

Given all that, I'm not putting them down. It's just this is the trend I see in almost every cell I've gone too (All, in my biased opinion, except my old one...which is defunct now). So being the cell nomads we are, we have secretly decided to visit different cells, just to observe. Hopefully, all the bits of cynicism and pride in me will melt at the face of a group of honest people gathering to learn what it means to follow Christ. Hopefully. *Fingers crossed*.

AUSSIE RULES!!

j

Posted at 03:34 pm by jyg2
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Monday, November 14, 2005

How do you revive a dying blog?

Answer: By, uh, blogging.

First up, my Nanowrimo novel is absolutely waaay behind the 50,000-word deadline - it stands slightly above 10,000 words. If you want to know, it's about a kampung boy who loves whistling and joins a circus called the "Malaysian Motley Maggots of Mischief". Yes, it's all very random. By the way, soph currently has the fourth-highest word count among Malaysian Nanowrimo-ers. Atta girl!

Speaking of writing, I thought this was one of the funniest eBay auction descriptions I've read, thanks to an interviewee who referred me to it. And no offense if you own leather pants.

Since Bali, life has taken a turn for the more...mundane. I actually now have to get down to the business of applying for freelance jobs. So my days are spent tweaking my resume, taking nice self-portraits with my new Olympus digital camera and watching One Tree Hill.

Speaking of One Tree Hill, just out of curiosity, how many guys do you know profess to being a fan of the show? I'm thinking of doing an article for THINK on how us macho, tough men are becoming fans of supposedly-soppy, mushy, "chick-flick"-kinda shows like OTH, The O.C, Desperate Housewives. Then again, most guys probably watch these shows to see Eva Longoria parade in her denim hot-pants.

Speaking of THINK, I've got an article out. Very profound subject.

But still on OTH, just finished the second season, and I loved it (not just to see Sophia Bush parade in her..anything, really). It's got drama, and above all, it's got such soul. And incredible quotes. Gems like: "Once you lose yourself completely, you have two choices. Find the person you used to be, or lose that person completely." Sniff, story of my life this year.

Just came back from AYA dinner. Had the privilege of singing a fantastic song written by my brother for our mentors, Kenneth and Sandra. Too bad I don't know how to upload it for all of you to listen.

Went to see "Girl from Ipoh" with Keith, his date, his date's sister and his date's sister's date. And my friend Ling. Had such a blast with her, especially while we were trying to negotiate our way to the KL Performing Arts Centre. She challenged me to say "Sick Sheikh six sheep's sick" really fast. I'll stick to "he sells sea shells on the sea shore."

My new favourite past-time? Sitting in Starbucks looking for obscure-but-hilarious websites. My demented self especially liked this, while my paternal self loved this (and might use it when I have a teenage daughter of my own to bully).

j.